Integrated Family Community Services 3370 South Irving Street, Englewood, CO 80110-1816 Ph: 303-789-0501

5 Tips to Manage a Split Home

Divorce is a challenging, difficult time for everyone involved. It can be exceptionally difficult when young children are part of the process. The splitting of one family and the blending with another can be particularly confusing and emotional for young children. Luckily, there is lots of research that can guide you through this process. Here are a few tips for keeping things as normal as possible throughout the split:

Don’t Compete

This is easier said than done. As your child splits time between homes, there will be times when they rant and rave about all the fun activities they did with your ex. It can be tempting to compete, trying to win the affection of your children. However, this can be damaging and should be avoided. Instead, be supportive and engage in a positive conversation with your child about their experience at the other home. By focusing on the welfare and happiness of your child, you’ll be able to limit any competitiveness that might spring up.

Keep Things Familiar

You’ll want to incorporate familiar objects from your previous home, from before the divorce, to your home now. For example, if your child has a particular quilt or comforter they love, but that your former spouse has at their home for the child, try to purchase a similar one for your new home. This simple gesture creates a sense of normalcy and unity for your child, which will make the switching of homes less dramatic.

Maintain Communication

As difficult as this might be, you and your ex need to keep communication open and honest throughout the split and after. Your child will experience extreme anxiety and confusion if you and your ex are not on the same page with things like bedtime, eating habits, or social outings. Providing consistency is one of the best ways to manage a split home.

Have Crucial Conversations

Understandably, children often experience guilt in these situations. As a parent, it’s extremely important to remind the child that the split is not their fault. Continue to remind them that they are part of a family and are very loved. These conversations may be difficult, but they are vitally important for your children.

Take Time To Review

Create the most positive environment possible for your child, and check in with your child to make sure they feel that positivity. If your child doesn’t feel comfortable in your home for whatever reason, you need to know that. Regular review how things are going in the home and with switching your child. Give them the opportunity to provide feedback. When they do, carefully consider what they’ve said and apply what you learn.

Divorce is never fun, but there are ways to minimize the disruption it will have in your child’s life. If you follow these simple steps you’ll feel more comfortable with the transition and will provide your child the support they need survive the split.

Tim Esterdahl

Tim Esterdahl is the editor of IFCS blog. He is a married father of three and enjoys golf in his spare time.
Tim Esterdahl

Find Us on Social Media

Unable to display Facebook posts.
Show error

Error: (#4) Application request limit reached
Type: OAuthException
Code: 4
Please refer to our Error Message Reference.

IFCS On Twitter

Thank you Columbine United Church for collecting food from FIVE @KingSoopersNews locations! Our families in need really appreciate your support! #dogood #charity #colorado #littleton

Thank you Dry Creek Sertoma for donating children and adult clothing! These donations are essential to filling our clothing bank to help those in need. #dogood #charity #clothing #colorado

A BIG thank you to Cub Scouts #0004 from the Trail Mark area. They conducted their first food drive in the neighborhood and made us the recipient. Wag a great first community service for the #cubscouts. #dogood #charity #colorado

Load More...

Key Sponsors

Our Affliations




Sign Up for our eNewsletter

Email Newsletter icon, E-mail Newsletter icon, Email List icon, E-mail List icon Sign up for our Email Newsletter
For Email Marketing you can trust

USDA Non-Discrimination Policy

IFCS follows the USDA non-discrimination policy. Learn more by clicking here to read the statement. (PDF)