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Integrated Family Community Services 3370 South Irving Street, Englewood, CO 80110-1816 Ph: 303-789-0501

5 Ways Your Relationship with Your Spouse Can Affect Your Children’s Happiness

5-ways-your-relationship-with-your-spouse-can-affect-your-childrens-happinessWhen you took your wedding vows, you promised to stay in the relationship for better or worse. There are times when the relationship will be challenging, and hopefully you and your spouse can survive the worst. However, for the sake of the children, it’s important to strive for a healthy, happy relationship with your spouse.

Even though a mate is supposed to put the spouse first, it doesn’t always happen. Spouses are often put on the backburner due to the demands of the children. However, it is important to put the spouse first because it can actually affect your children’s happiness.

1. Quality of Time Spent

It’s important to spend quality time together as a family. If the children always see their parents arguing during family time, this situation can get ugly quickly. Soon, family time might become dreaded and/or avoided by the children. When a family doesn’t connect or spend time together, there’s no real or meaningful way of connecting. Familial bonds can suffer tremendously when a couple refuses to get on the same page.

2. Security

If you and your spouse are in a volatile relationship, this can affect your child’s happiness level because they don’t feel safe. Many children deal with domestic violence in the home and it’s a traumatic experience. As a parent, your desire to ensure your child’s safety needs to be high. If there is domestic abuse in the home, seek help and refuge elsewhere.

This has tremendous negative impacts on a child’s security and feelings of safety. You may even have to contact a social worker who has completed an online MSW program or an equivalent degree to get the psychological help necessary for a healthy home environment.

3. Learned Behavior

As a parent, you are the moral authority in your child’s life. Children look to their parents to determine what’s right and wrong. When children see their parents arguing and fighting unfairly, they are likely to pick up those same traits and express them to others.

4. Health

Health is vital. A toxic environment where there is an abusive relationship between a couple can affect the children’s ability to maintain a healthy lifestyle. According to studies done by the American College of Pediatrics, divorce and broken homes are correlated to children with ADHD, visits to the emergency room and learning disabilities. Additionally, if you or your spouse is enduring a mental health disorder and it affects your child in a negative way, the state may send a social worker to take your children from you.

5. Emotional Stability

Stress affects every part of a person’s life if it’s chronic. Living in a space where the parents are constantly at war with one another is very stressful. Children cannot come out unscathed after years of experiencing war in the home. They can become withdrawn and struggle to interact well with others. They can also overcompensate for what they needed their parents’ relationship to exemplify.

These five ways a relationship can affect your children are serious. If (and/or when) you and your spouse hit a rough patch in the relationship, consider getting outside help through counseling to get through it. This isn’t just for you. It needs to be for the sake of your children’s lives as well.

Tim Esterdahl

Tim Esterdahl is the editor of IFCS blog. He is a married father of three and enjoys golf in his spare time.

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