Integrated Family Community Services 3370 South Irving Street, Englewood, CO 80110-1816 Ph: 303-789-0501

Divorcing Soon? 4 Ideas to Help the Entire Family Cope

A divorce or separation can be one of the most emotional experiences that you can go through, but if you have children, it could also be one of the most scarring experiences for them emotionally. Most people go through several distinct emotional phases throughout the process, including depression, anger and grief. The four following ideas will provide ways for the entire family to cope with their emotions throughout this difficult and stressful time.

Ensure Children Feel Loved

Children whose parents are divorcing often feel as if the split-up is their fault. They may feel guilty, unloved and rejected. You and your spouse should make a point of sitting down with each of your children and assuring them that the divorce does not reflect upon them at all and that your love for them has not changed. You will need to reiterate this constantly or risk destroying your child’s self-esteem.

Take Time to Grieve

Everyone has different feelings about a divorce, and you may feel angry, depressed, tired and confused at times. However, the underlying feeling is often sadness, which has sometimes been described as being equivalent to the amount of grief you would feel if a loved one passed away. Be sure to acknowledge your loss and take time to grieve. Allow your children to grieve in their own ways as well.

Visit a Counselor

A counselor can help each member of your family work through difficult emotions. Your counselor can be the safe person that you need to open up to with all of your grief and anger. Plus, he or she can give you helpful tools to get through the next difficult months of your life.

Speak with a Divorce Lawyer

A divorce lawyer can help you understand how many aspects of your life will come together following this difficult change. He or she will be able to discuss such concerns as housing, finances, schooling for your children, and parental support. When you choose to use a divorce lawyer, you can distance yourself more from that which is causing you stress and grief.

Because going through a separation or divorce may very well be the most stressful experience that you have throughout your lifetime, you will want to seek out appropriate support so that you can get through each facet of the grieving process. This is not a time to bottle up your emotions or try to get through this period alone. Instead, by being honest with yourself, reassuring your children of your unfailing love and speaking to a divorce lawyer as soon as possible, you will be able to get through a divorce and even grow through the experience.

Tim Esterdahl

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