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Divorcing With Children? 4 Steps to Ensure Their Emotional Security

While the divorce rate is at a 40-year low, it is still a problem many couples deal with. In 2017, roughly one million couples in the United States ended their marriages. The husband and wife are not the only ones to suffer when a marriage ends. Children are innocent bystanders who will also have to deal with the aftermath. There are some steps you can take to ensure the emotional well-being of your child through a divorce.

Keep a Routine

It is important to try and maintain a regular daily routine as much as possible while going through a divorce. A child may already be feeling that their lives are unstable and on shaky grounds. Keeping the routine as normal as possible will offer them a sense of normalcy that they will require during this difficult time in their life. This will provide them with the sense that their life will not fall apart during and after a divorce, it will just be different.

Avoid Conflict in Front of The Children

Keep the visible conflicts, arguments, and heated discussions away from the children. It is also important that you do not talk about the other parent in a negative manner. Children love both of their parents and it is already difficult enough for them to deal with the idea that their parents do not love each other. Putting them in the middle of the situation may cause them unnecessary emotional stress.

Expedite the Process

Another important factor to consider is the speed at which the divorce takes. A long and drawn out divorce can take a toll on both the parents and children alike. It can be exhausting both mentally and emotionally for everyone involved. Retaining a lawyer who specializes in family law can be the difference between a civil and quick divorce and a long and painful one.

Consult a Child Psychologist

While parents are caregivers who feel it is their duty to protect children, children have a tendency to want to protect their parents as well. They have a tendency to hide things from their parents that they feel may cause them discomfort during an already difficult period. Therefore, it may be helpful to have your child talk with a child psychologist. They can express their fears, anger, frustration, and sadness to another adult without the fear of causing their parents more pain.

A divorce can be a painful and stressful period for everyone involved. Keeping to a routine as much as possible while not subjecting the children to arguments and legal talk are important first steps to ensuring their emotional security. Putting the anger and frustration aside for the sake of the children can go a long way in making the process as painless as possible for everyone.

Tim Esterdahl

Tim Esterdahl is the editor of IFCS blog. He is a married father of three and enjoys golf in his spare time.
Tim Esterdahl

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