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Family Feud: How to Walk Your Children through a Divorce with You and Your Spouse

Love doesn’t always last forever, no matter how many fairy tales show otherwise. Divorce can happen to the best couples. The problem is breaking the news to the young ones. It is an earth-shattering moment for your kids, and you need to be able to talk to them effectively. The following tips should be helpful.

Stay United

A divorce does mean disunity but only between you and your spouse. As parents, it is important that you show a united front to ensure your kids understand that you will both be there for them. The divorce is already going to lead to a number of drastic changes, so making sure your kids see you as strong as a rock is vital. This should make it easier to break the news to them since you will both be providing a safety net.

Be Upfront

It is important that you be as honest as you can. You and your divorce attorney are working hard on specific changes like where the children are going to be staying after the divorce. Perhaps you are also working on visiting hours. These are the kinds of things you want to be upfront about, but there is no need to talk about changes until the change has been decided on by you, your spouse, and the lawyers you have hired from a company like The Mitchell Law Firm.

Stay Blameless

There is no doubt that you are going to have some emotional reactions to what is going on, especially regarding your children. Some of these feelings are not always going to be positive. You need to check those feelings and refrain from blaming or trash-talking your spouse in front of your children as you are discussing matters. Remember that this is a two-part effort, so make sure you and your spouse are on the same page because you do not want to make your children feel like they have to pick a side.

Foundational Work

You and your partner should take steps to ensure that only a few things change for your kids. Those who can try to keep them in the same schools or clubs. Some of these may be inconvenient, but your kids are worth that extra effort. What you are doing is creating a sense of stability, which your kids need as you try to guide them through your divorce.

These are just some of the things you can do for your kids while divorcing. It may be a good idea to talk to a family counselor and your divorce attorney. The counselor can help you communicate what is going on, and your attorney might have tips, too.

Tim Esterdahl

Tim Esterdahl is the editor of IFCS blog. He is a married father of three and enjoys golf in his spare time.
Tim Esterdahl

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