Integrated Family Community Services 3370 South Irving Street, Englewood, CO 80110-1816 Ph: 303-789-0501

Going Through A Divorce? Six Tips To Help The Kids Feel Safe And Loved

Divorcing adults usually understand why their separation needs to happen. They know that the situation might be hard for a while, but over time, they’ll both benefit from the decision to go their separate ways. Both parents also hope that the divorce will help them create a less contentious or safer home environment where their kids can flourish.

6 Tips To Help The Kids Feel Safe And Loved
But kids don’t have the same adult understanding of divorce as their parents. They often don’t understand why the divorce is happening. Having fighting or separating parents can make kids feel unsafe and unloved, even though they might benefit from a better home atmosphere in the long run.

During this difficult time, follow the tips below to make sure your kids continue to feel loved while their parents separate.

1. Don’t Fight in Front of Kids

If you’re upset with your partner, it’s hard to keep your feelings in check. However, you should do everything in your power to keep fights from happening in front of the kids. Instead, try to present a united front when you face them. Make sure they know that in spite of the conflicts happening between the two of you, both parents still love their kids equally.

2. Give Age-Appropriate Information

While your older kids and teenagers might be prepared to understand why the divorce is happening, younger kids don’t need to be troubled with the details of your divorce. Be honest and direct in giving them the information they need, especially about their living situation and change in routines, but try not to give them more information than they need right now.

3. Let Kids Express Their Feelings

Your kids might worry about sharing their real feelings because they don’t want to hurt you. However, it’s important that your children know they can trust you to respect their feelings, and they shouldn’t have to bottle up their emotions. Let them know that they can always talk to you, and when they do, listen openly and honestly. Don’t get defensive; listen respectfully and acknowledge that their feelings are valid.

4. Offer Stability

A divorce necessarily interrupts children’s usual routines, especially since they’ll likely only be living with one parent and visiting the other. With so much change, it’s easy for kids to feel frustrated with the lack of control they have over their lives. As much as possible, try to maintain your kids’ routines. This will help them feel more stable, calm, and in control.

5. Work with a Lawyer for Custody Settlements

For your children’s sakes, you need a solid custody agreement that keeps them safe and maintains their daily routines as much as possible. To make sure your agreement protects your kids, especially if you experience any child custody disputes, get in touch with a trustworthy lawyer like one at the Rosengren Kohlmeyer Law Offices. Working with a lawyer can help you both come to an agreement on life-changing aspects of divorce that affect you and the kids.

6. Take Care of Yourself

It’s hard to take care of your kids when you feel overwhelmed and overworked. Set aside time to de-stress by exercising, participating in your favorite activities, and eating healthily. You can also rely on your lawyer to decrease stress—he or she is here to help.

When you follow these six tips, you can give your kids a more stable home environment while you and your partner figure out the details of your divorce.

Tim Esterdahl

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