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Gradual Pain: How Domestic Abuse Manifests Over Time

We should never fool ourselves into believing the signs of domestic abuse are easy to spot. The truth is, abusers are skilled at hiding the signs. Nevertheless, jealousy, verbally abusive, and controlling tendencies should not be ignored. In fact, they’re warnings that there just might be reason for concern. Here are some ways to identify and treat abuse when it does appear.

The Green-Eyed Monster

We’ve all heard about the green-eyed monster jealousy, but seldom realize how apt a description the saying can be. In fact, one sign of domestic abuse is a partner who is unreasonably jealous because the individual sees jealousy as love. Unfortunately, the envy can grow to the point the abuser stalks his or her partner. It may seem like a sign of flattery at first, but jealousy can easily turn dark if given the chance.

The Power of Words

The power of words is fully realized until one feels the brutal blow of a callously thrown insult. Perhaps this is why domestic abusers are so verbally cruel and tend to degrade and humiliate their partners. Even more painful is the fact they are talented at making it seem like they’re doing it for the victim’s own good. 

The Ruling Hand

One of the most well-known traits of domestic abusers is their tendency to rule over their partners with iron fists. But as a Collin County Sex Crimes Lawyer reminds, this sign isn’t always visible. In the beginning, the abuser tricks the victim into handing control over to him or her. Over time, the abuser takes more and more control until the victim is powerless in the relationship. 

No Means No

The tragedy of domestic abuse is the depth to which the victim suffers, including sexual abuse. Granted, the abuser attempts to disguise forced sex as play. However, when the victim refuses and the abusers “forces” sexual play, it’s sexual abuse. This is the time a victim should contact a s lawyer rather than letting things go any further.

Ask for the Stars

Romantic clichés often include an individual promising a love the stars, but no one actually expects such a gift. That is, other than a domestic abuser. While they many not literally expect the stars, they do have unrealistic expectations for their partners. This is part of a pattern where the abuser uses the victim’s failure to further break the victim down and keep him or her fully under control. 

Tragically, this is just one of the many cycles of domestic abuse. However, if one opens one’s eyes, the signs are there to see. Watch for jealous and controlling behavior. More importantly, be aware verbal or sexual abuse don’t come from love but rather cruelty.

Tim Esterdahl

Tim Esterdahl is the editor of IFCS blog. He is a married father of three and enjoys golf in his spare time.
Tim Esterdahl

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