Integrated Family Community Services 3370 South Irving Street, Englewood, CO 80110-1816 Ph: 303-789-0501

Healing After Domestic Abuse and Creating a Safe Haven for Your Children

Domestic abuse wreaks havoc on a family, and it can make the victims feel like nowhere is safe. However, you need to protect you children and create a space where they can feel safe again. Take progressive, mature actions to prevent state authorities and court systems from dictating what happens to your children after domestic abuse. Confrontation-free routines, without school interruptions and home instability, are paramount for children to heal.

Therapy Helps

Domestic abuse creates a turbulent roller coaster for children. Various forms of therapy can help everyone regain balance. There are a few different types of therapy that can help, and you may want to try one or a combination of these.

Couples therapy is for parents with a domestic abuse history. They should always try couples counseling if they want to stay together. In family therapy, a counselor will talk to the whole family together. Whether the person who perpetuated the abuse in still apart of the family members’ lives or not, this can help everyone find peace together and rebuild broken trust. Individual therapy will help children who witnessed abuse need private appointments with social workers or child psychologists they can work through their trauma with. This can also be useful for the partner who experience abuse.

Emotional Stability Starts at Home

In the haze of abusive events and courts or jails, families can lose firm grips on finances and home stability. In fact, domestic violence is a leading cause of the 2.5 million homeless children in America.

Children lose stabilization when one parent leaves home or a court order bars a parent from the home. The interruption in healing is devastating when they must move around, change schools, or fall into state care. Confide in your attorney, friends, and family to keep a stable home for your children to live or hold regular visits with you in.

Respect the Law

A domestic violence attorney can help victims of abuse find safety from their abuser. It is particularly important to consult with an attorney if an abusive spouse or partner is trying to get visitation or custody of your children. They can help you press criminal charges or pursue a restraining order.

If you feel falsely accused, a domestic violence attorney can present your evidence and argue on your behalf. Restrain your emotions, follow the rules, and alert your attorney whenever the other party breaks those rules.

Do not violate the orders state authorities and courts initiate. Children benefit more from predictable routine, even if their new reality is separated parents, than they do from confrontational upheavals after parents’ premature or unauthorized contacts.

Maintain Your Maturity

Let kids be kids. Talk to lawyers, therapists, and other adults about your case. Using children to vent about your abuser or accuser could guilt them into feeling bad and taking sides. It can even lead to sever self-image issues for your children. You must become your children’s haven for protection and support, not their responsibility to treat or cheer up.

Above all, patience with your children is absolutely necessary when domestic abuse affects their lives. They’re going through an upheaval, and they may act out or throw tantrums. Be sure to acquire an experienced attorney as your advocate and ally to keep their best interests the priority.

Tim Esterdahl

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