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How to Maintain Your Family Bonds After a Divorce

Divorce is rarely pleasant. However, with some effort, this temporarily uncomfortable situation can transition into happy, stress-free co-parenting. Successful co-parenting means compromises, and compromises mean setting the small stuff aside. If you want to maintain strong bonds with your children, it’s important to develop a plan for amicably dealing with your ex-spouse. Here’s what you can do to protect and grow your family bonds after your divorce.

Boy with teddy bear and parents fighting

Boy with teddy bear and parents fighting

Being Willing to Compromise

You and your ex disagree when it comes to education. You want to flesh out where your son will go to middle school next year. You think your school district is great. Your ex doesn’t think it’s a good fit. These two very different points of view are emblematic of why you aren’t married to this person anymore. However, fundamentally, you are both thinking about what’s best for your kid. But you may also be using this as an opportunity to be “right.” Instead of continually reasserting what you want for your child, sit down with your ex and agree to a compromise.

Don’t Fight in Front of Your Children

After a divorce, there will be days when you’re tired of dealing with your ex. You can’t seem to agree with him/her. You can’t stand to have another sit down. Emotions get heated. How you handle these emotions directly affects your children. You can allow these emotions to take over, and pick a fight. You can suppress them, and let negative comments about your ex slip out in front of your children. Or, you can put some much-needed space between you and your ex and remember to be empathetic and diplomatic. Your children absorb the things you say and do. Don’t you want those things to be positive and productive?

Prioritize Your Children’s Well-being

It’s easy to let every minor encounter with your ex, including picking up and dropping off your children, as a chance to talk about co-parenting decisions. This is a critical mistake. The time you have with your children is precious. Don’t let decision-making conversations bleed into that time. Perhaps most importantly, think about how these conversations should benefit your child. They aren’t a venue for you to get carried away as you hash out old gripes.

As you experience the transition from marriage to divorce, talk to your divorce lawyer about what your custody agreement should look like. A lawyer from institutions such as The Peck Law Firm in Charleston are experienced with family law and can help guide your uncoupling, divide your assets, and shape your custody agreement.

Tim Esterdahl

Tim Esterdahl is the editor of IFCS blog. He is a married father of three and enjoys golf in his spare time.
Tim Esterdahl

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