Integrated Family Community Services 3370 South Irving Street, Englewood, CO 80110-1816 Ph: 303-789-0501

How to Negotiate Fair Child Custody Terms with Your Ex-Spouse

Divorce litigation is filled with landmines that can make the process of negotiating child custody terms difficult. The process is often anything but straightforward. However, with a bit of preparation and the right knowledge, you can get fair terms for both you and your ex-spouse. There are a few different methods you can pursue when attempting to negotiate your divorce terms.

Unhappy with their arguments

Unhappy with their arguments


Mediation can sometimes provide you with better results than a lawyer. Especially in cases where you split amicably, it may be more beneficial to hire a mediator to nail down terms that benefit both you and your ex-spouse. A mediator can act as an unbiased third-party, listen to both sides of the story and decide the best option for both of you. A mediator should only be employed in situations where both individuals split on agreeable terms.

Productive Conflict

While conflict should be expected, you can get much further in your negotiations if you have productive conflict. According to Jill L. Coil of Coil Law, the process of divorce is seldom “easy or pleasant.” Refrain from anger during a custody battle, and keep your focus on what’s really at stake—your children’s welfare. Do this, and you can ensure a safe and productive environment that helps you and your ex-spouse arrive at a suitable agreement. Proceedings are likely going to result in anger and hurt feelings, but to maintain a productive conflict, you’re going to need to keep your anger and resentment in check.

Avoid Manipulations

Hiring a competent lawyer can help you to achieve a fair resolution in the midst of a very difficult and trying time. If the child custody case can’t be resolved between the two couples, a consultation with a lawyer is the next best option. The case may need to go to court. If you feel you’re not getting fair treatment, litigation may be your only acceptable option. When this happens, make sure you have a good lawyer on your side.

Resolving Disputes

With all the disputes and arrangements that have to be made in a divorce, it’s often difficult to keep track of everything. People aren’t typically in their right mind during a divorce, and they may end up giving up too much in an effort to simplify the process and get it over with. It’s important to avoid this by hiring a lawyer that will fight for your alimony, custody and asset issues.

If you find yourself having difficulty communicating with your ex-spouse, don’t be afraid to contact a divorce attorney who can protect your rights as a parent. In addition to child custody terms, your lawyer should also help you settle disputes on alimony and asset issues.

Tim Esterdahl

Tim Esterdahl is the editor of IFCS blog. He is a married father of three and enjoys golf in his spare time.
Tim Esterdahl

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