Integrated Family Community Services 3370 South Irving Street, Englewood, CO 80110-1816 Ph: 303-789-0501

In and Out: Tips to Keep Order in a Revolving Household

Perhaps during the past year, two of your adult children moved back home. While you enjoy seeing your kids each day, things are probably chaotic. If you can relate to this scenario, you’re not alone. Due to changing social norms, a lack of high paying jobs, and a host of other reasons, more adult children are choosing to crash at their parents’. If you’re struggling to coexist in your house with your adult children, consider adhering to the following tips to keep order in a revolving household.

Establish Clear Rules

Before things get out of hand, establish clear rules from the start. Inform your kids of any financial obligations you expect them to meet. For instance, you might want to require your children to pay:

  • Rent
  • A percentage of utilities
  • A percentage of the grocery bill

Forcing your kids to pay rent is an uncomfortable subject for some parents to address. Even if you don’t wish to keep your children’s rent money, you might want to save it for them. They could later use the savings to help pay for their own places. Besides financial matters, discuss the issue of friends coming over to see your kids. For example, you may only want your kids’ guests to come over on weekends. Or, you might want to request your children’s guests always leave by a certain time of the night. Set communication rules too. Do your kids need to notify you by lunchtime if they’re not going to show up for dinner? 

Respect Their Independence

Once adult kids move back home, parents often resort to old routines. For instance, you might want to insist your adult children listen to certain types of music or wear specific kinds of clothing. Unfortunately, expecting grown kids to follow your lead on everything is unreasonable. Respect your adult children’s independence. While you can certainly offer them advice, allow them to make their own decisions.

Involve Kids in Family Activities

Obviously, your adult kids won’t desire to hang out with you every hour of the day. However, don’t neglect to involve them in family activities. Invite them to play a game of checkers with you and your significant other. Ask them if they want to go grocery shopping with you. Tell them they’re welcome to help you in the kitchen.

Divvy Chores

If your kids have been away from your home for an extended period of time, you probably don’t want to start washing their clothing again. Likewise, you may not want to wash all their dirty dishes. Divvy up chores between everyone at home. Let them know their clothes will remain filthy if they don’t wash them themselves. By requiring your children to care for themselves, they won’t become dependent on you for everything. When they finally find a place of their own, they’ll be prepared to meet their own needs.

Invest in a Home Security Package

Your adult kids might not have the same schedule as you. They might work late shifts. Or, they may enjoy staying out until long after midnight. To prevent being frightened every time you hear sounds in your home late at night, consider investing in a home security package or app. ADT offers a wide array of monitored sensors that can let you know when a door is forced open. If someone is really trying to break into your home, you’ll hear an alarm. However, if your kids are simply coming home late, you’ll be able to fall back to sleep quickly. 

Parents respond differently to adult children moving back home. Some parents look forward to having their children under their roof again. Others count the days until their grown kids will move out. Certainly, living with adult kids can be challenging. Fortunately, if you follow the aforementioned tips, this unique living arrangement might be both comfortable and rewarding.

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Integrated Family Community Services is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization.

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IFCS’ Tax ID # 84-0579740