Integrated Family Community Services 3370 South Irving Street, Englewood, CO 80110-1816 Ph: 303-789-0501

Suffer the Children: How to Care for Children in a Split Family

Sadly, a lot of children will experience the deterioration of their families. This is not ideal, and it is likely not what the parents envisioned for their families, but couples have problems. Sometimes these problems are irreparable, which leads to divorce. The following are tips that may help you care for your children, even if your family is splitting up. 

Open Conversation

One of the most important things you should do is encourage an open and honest conversation. Your kid probably has a lot of questions, and it is your job to answer these questions. You want your kid to be open, so make sure that you are, too. Tell your kid what is happening and the way his or her little life will change after the divorce. 

Blameless Departure

It is quite common that a child might begin to think that the divorce happened because of something he or she did. You need to make it clear that this decision has nothing to do with your child. Be sure to touch on this idea until your child feels you are telling the truth. Also, make sure you do not blame each other or talk negatively about each other. Your child does not want to hear you bad-mouthing the other parent. You are both a part of your child’s heart, and it will hurt to hear one piece of his or her heart attack the other. 

Dealing with Custody

Figuring out custody as soon as possible is important. This will make it easier to answer questions for your child, and it will also help shape your child’s life after the divorce. You might want to talk to a lawyer like Kelm & Reuter, P.A.  or someone similar to figure out custody. The ideal situation would be joint custody to make sure both get equal visitation time, but that is not always possible. Consider your child’s life before your own when discussing custody.

Stability is Vital

You are removing a level of stability for your kid, which is going to shake him or her to the core. This is the reason it is important everything else in his or her life remains the same as much as possible. What you want to do is keep him or her in the same school or around the same group of people. Try to keep him or her in the same clubs, and try to maintain the same schedule. Stability helps reduce the shock and may help your child get through this in one piece.

These are just some of the things you need to do for your child. Remember, try to be a united front in the presence of your children. Do not fight in front of them, and try not to make it sound like you and your partner are on opposite sides.

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